


Secret Ingredient

by Leximander



Category: Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, M/M, Snail sex, Snails, absolute crack, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:07:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5009401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leximander/pseuds/Leximander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanni-snail lusts for Wil-snail but also lusts for snail flesh. Why can't he have both?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Ingredient

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HapticLacuna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HapticLacuna/gifts).



> OKay so first i'd like to say I know snails don't have spines but like what do I call that thing?? Idk. Anyways this crack fic was written for my friend HapticLacuna who you should really check out because she writes amazingly. I don't actually watch Hannibal so I have no idea if it's in character or not. Long story short she saw that snail scene and I had to look up how snails have sex and then this happened. This is not at all edited. Total crack. Anyways Enjoy!

Hanni-snail slunk up to his intended target. He started the mating dance to make them comfortable. All the snails wanted Hanni-snail, but they were also wary of him. Something about him screamed danger. The other snail mistook his hungry stare for one of lust, which I guess you could call it lust, but not the kind of lust the poor snail victim had in mind. Hanni-snail lusted for snail flesh. Hanni-snail got into position and pierced the other snail with his love dart.

“Whoops,” he muttered, “I guess I just have bad aim.” 

Hanni-snail had pierced the vital organs of his victim. He would live at most a few more minutes. That would be enough time to find some clover to garnish his meal. Hanni-snail slid away to find some clover while pointedly not looking at where Wil-snail thought he was hiding from Hanni-snails antenna.

Wil-snail shuddered as Hanni-snail slid away. He had been watching the whole time. He had seen the erotic dance of predator and prey and it made him want Hanni-snail all that much more. Wil-snail was having an internal crisis. He shouldn’t find his fellow snails appealing in such a manner. Why they were his friends! But… They looked so tasty and Hanni-snail looked even tastier when preparing to kill.

“Hello Wil-snail.” Hanni-snail intoned. “I see you’ve enjoyed the show?” he said, a small smirk appeared on his face. 

“Uhh…” Wil-snail was at a loss for words when faced with Hanni-snails sudden appearance.

“Salt got you tongue? I was so hoping you’d join me for dinner?” Hanni-snail purred.

Wil-snail nodded mutely. A shiver of apprehension ran down his spine. He had no way of knowing if he too would become a meal but the thrill of the risk appealed to him more than the fear of being eaten.

Hanni-snail watched Wil-snails internal debate grinning internally as Wil-snail decided the risk was worth it. Hanni-snail had plans for Wil-snail but they didn’t involve having him for dinner. Oh no, Hanni-snail would have him for dessert.

“Splendid of you to join me for dinner.” Hanni-snail said as they circled the snail cadaver. 

“Oh, it was, uhm, no problem.” Wil-snail said distractedly as he watched Hanni-snails intense focus as he divided up the snail cadaver into equal portions and added the clover garnish. Wil-snail was still studing Hanni-snail when he took his first bite. It was absolutely delicious. So much so that it frightened him a little.

Hanni-snail watched with apparent satisfaction on his face as he watched Wil-snail devour his portion.

“Would you like some more?” Hanni-snail aked.

“Oh, yes, please.” Wil-snail replied.

Soon there was nothing left but the shell. Wil-snail sighed as he shifted and he felt his full belly move, he failed to notice Hanni-snail slipping closer until their shells clinked together softly. 

“That was absolutely delicious. I don’t know how you did it.” Wil-snail complimented.

“Oh it’s really not all that hard.” Hanni-snail said “You just add a little clover and the secret ingredient.”

“Secret ingredient?” Wil-snail asked.

“I can show you if you like?” Hanni-snail purred.

A shiver ran along Wil-snails shell. He knew there were deeper implications in that sentence but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Yes, I’d like to see.” Wil-snail said breathlessly.

Hanni-snail took a moment to appreciate his Wil-snails bravery. Oh yes he was going to enjoy this immensely.

They started by circling each other. Hanni-snail taking every opportunity to brush against Wil-snail. He rubbed his antenna along Wil-snails exposed side. They continue in their perverse dance until Hanni-snail moves just so to capture Wil-snails lips. It’s almost too much for Wil-snail and they haven’t really started yet. Their sex organs hang out the side. Slowly so as not to finish too soon Hanni-snail, rubs his sex organs along Wil-snails building a slow rhythm. Wil-snail shudders and lets out a moan. 

“Hanni-,” Wil-snail breaks off with a moan.

“Yes Wil-snail?” Hanni-snail asks, shifting to rub his sex organs against Wil-snails again.

It takes a moment for Wil-snail to unmuddle his mind so he can speak.

“Hanni-snail, aren’t you going to show me your secret ingredient?” Wil-snail asks breathlessly.

“Oh of course. Be paitent smol chou. I will get there soon.” 

Hanni-snail proceeds to pick up his pace while caressing Wil-snails shell, his antenna, his sides. Until he can’t form coherent thought any longer.

“Are you ready mon petit chou? This is going to hurt.” Hanni-snail says.

Wil-snail just barely nodded his head when he felt Hanni-snails love dart pierce him. Hanni-snail was careful not to pierce anything vital, he didn’t want his petit chou to die on him.

Wil-snail gasped. It hurt but it also made him feel so full. He had a piece of Hanni-snail inside him and the thought just made him moan harder, as they both joined their sex organs and came together.

So this is what sin feels like Wil-snail thought. No matter how good it felt, this snaily world did not need more sinners in it than it already had. With a heavy heart Wil-snail pushed into Hanni-snail with a quick I love you and then pushed them off the rock into the pond below.

Fin.


End file.
